


Pardon My French

by 1529Jake



Series: The Petekey Married AU [14]
Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: AU, Beauty and the Beast, Disney, Family, Humor, Husbands, M/M, Vacation, be our guest - Freeform, married, restaurant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 19:12:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13254831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1529Jake/pseuds/1529Jake
Summary: With a big Way family vacation coming up, Pete and Mikey try to sneak in a little alone time before they leave for Disney.





	Pardon My French

Once a couple has children, finding alone time gets much more challenging than when they are without children. Eventually, just about everything becomes about the children, and what would make the children happiest. It wasn’t like that was a huge change for Mikey and Pete, considering they were both children at heart, and usually loved whatever the kids loved. It also meant they got to go to Disney with Mikey’s side of the family in a week, which caused both of them to potentially be more excited than the kids.  
But even in their excitement, they weren’t going to pass up a little bit of sexy time when the opportunity arose. Since Bronx was at his friend’s house for a sleepover, and the little ones were in bed upstairs, Mikey and Pete found themselves getting heated on the living room couch.  
The only noise that could be heard in the silence of the night was their heavy breathing and the sound of their lips connecting, the static of the baby monitor faintly crackling. There wasn’t even much noise as they freed themselves of their clothes, since they had mastered the art of smoothly and silently undressing each other in small spaces from years of tour bus bunk sex.  
One of them must have bumped the remote, buried deep within the couch cushions, and the almost-silence was broken by the tv turning on to the last movie they’d been watching in their Disney binge. The intro to Be Our Guest began, and Mikey collapsed onto Pete in a fit of laughter, unable to continue their session with the extent of which he found this situation funny.  
“Mikey,” Pete laughed just slightly, not finding it nearly funny enough to warrant this dead weight upon him, but rather amusing that Mikey did. “Get off, you dork.”  
Mikey didn’t even respond to that, he just muttered something that sounded a lot like “mon cheri” into Pete’s shoulder and kept laughing.  
“Excuse me, mister, but I think we were in the middle of something?” Pete said, only slightly annoyed.  
Mikey finally picked his head up, looking Pete in the eyes with the line of his mouth struggling not to break into a smile. Pete was pretty sure he wasn’t breathing in his attempts not to laugh.  
And then, with the worst French accent Pete had ever heard in his entire life, Mikey said, “Try the grey stuff, it’s delicious,” before bursting out into laughter again and rolling off of Pete and the couch onto the floor.  
“I fucking hate you.”  
Mikey’s laughs had turned into soundless convulsions, sprawled out on the rug with his hands over his stomach. Pete rolled over on the couch, and looked down at Mikey, resting his chin on his arms.  
“You know it’s not as funny as you think it is, right?”  
Mikey nodded and squinted his eyes shut, and Pete booped Mikey on the nose.  
“My silly boy.”  
“Non, bébé garçon.”  
“I’m pretty sure your conjugation is wrong, baby boy.” Pete said.  
“Conjugation is only in Spanish.” Mikey said.  
“No, it’s for all languages, isn’t it?”  
“I dunno.” Mikey shrugged. “Ignore the grammar, who cares about grammar anyway?”  
“Patrick does,” Pete said, “but only because if I fuck up the grammar, he takes the blame because he’s singing it.”  
“Poor Patrick, he must have to deal with that a lot.” Mikey said.  
“Jerk.” Pete said, his voice soft as he gently shoved Mikey.  
“You can’t knock me over if I’m already on the floor.” Mikey grinned.  
“Then get back up here.”  
“Sounds compelling.” Mikey said, reaching up to take Pete’s hand as if he were going to use it to help himself get back up. “But I think I’d rather you just join me.”  
He pulled Pete off the couch onto the floor with him, both of them now laughing together.  
~  
The following week they found themselves at the Magic Kingdom, seated in the fancy Beauty and the Beast themed restaurant telling their grinning waiter what they wanted to order.  
“Me and Bandit are getting the Mickey Mouse shaped meatloaf.” Bronx showed his parents and the waiter the menu, pointing to what he wanted.  
“I’m gonna get that too!” Lily announced, wanting to be like her sister and cousin.  
“What would you like, Cherry?” Gerard asked the other Iero-Way twin.  
“The Feast of the Beast.” Cherry said straight faced, pointing at what was probably the biggest meal on the menu.  
“Are you sure you can eat all that?” Mikey asked, concerned for his little niece.  
“I can eat anything, Uncle Mikey.” Cherry informed him.  
“She’ll eat it all.” Frank said, taking her menu and handing it to the waiter. “Miles?”  
“Les Macaronis Maurice.” Miles said slowly, trying to sound out each of the words, and not quite pronouncing them correctly.  
Once the remaining orders were in, the waiter left, just as the final notes of the song Gaston played over the speakers. That’s when it all started. Over the speakers, the song began with the opening words,  
“It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents... Your dinner!”  
And that was when Mikey lost it.  
He buried his face in his arms on the table, and began cracking up.  
“Dear lord, Mikey.” Pete sighed under his breath, rubbing Mikey’s back and cautiously examining the confused and alarmed faces of their family.  
“What does he find so funny?” Gerard asked, looking around to see if something happened that he didn’t see.  
“The song.” Pete replied sheepishly.  
“This isn’t even a funny song.” Cherry said, raising an eyebrow. “The last song was the funny one.”  
“Mikey, why do you find this so funny?” Donna asked, though her son was quite passed the point of being able to answer any questions.  
“Mikey, sweetie, you’re gonna have to cut this out, since there is no way I’m explaining this to your mother.” Pete said nervously through gritted teeth. “Though truthfully, I’m more afraid of your brother.”  
“Inside joke.” Mikey just barely said through his laughter.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Gerard asked. “Why are you afraid of me?”  
“Oh, I think I get it.” Frank said thoughtfully. “He said it’s an inside joke. It’s probably like Destroya for us.”  
Gerard nearly fell out of his chair.  
Mikey actually did, falling halfway out of his chair, and stopped laughing immediately.  
“That’s not even an inside joke, everyone knows that!” Mikey exclaimed, fixing himself on the chair as to not create more of a scene. “You’re both disgusting!”  
“What are they even talking about?” Bandit asked.  
“I don’t know whatever this is.” Cherry said, annoyed.  
“Adults are so weird.” Bronx whispered.  
“Correction, kiddo, your father here is weird.” Pete corrected, pointing at Mikey.  
“You are also my father.” Bronx reminded him.  
“Touché, kid. Touché.” Pete nodded.  
Mikey began laughing again.  
“What’s so funny this time?” Pete asked, exasperated.  
“Touché is a french word.” Mikey explained. “It directly translates to ‘toucher.’”  
“Mikey, goddamn it.”


End file.
